1 down, 2 more to go..

You know they say high school friends will always be the one who stays by your side when your down. They will always be the closest friends you will ever have.

They are the ones you want to see when they are away,
The ones that you are longing for to come back,
The ones that will always let you know first when they are coming back.
The ones that you will miss badly.

Now shes gone till next year. And I cant wait to see her already.
I thought I would be fine, cause she had been away for more than a year in KL but I guess my heart is just weak whenever someone leaves.
It's just not easy to see someone close to you, leave.
I will have to endure this again next week.
I don't think It will be easy to see both of them leave, cause where they are going is far.

I am glad that now Im studying in KL.
Because it wont make me think much about them, Im not saying it in a bad way or whatsoever..Just that, I wont be that sad about it.
I always wonder why, people I love always leaves.
The new ones can't replace the closest friends that you have. It's the old heart that enlightens our mind and soul.
I hope that one day, we will all rejoyce again back in the little Island we called HOME.


They will come back, is the matter of waiting.

Wish you were here, the part when I need you the most.
The part when I need your hug to warm my soul.
Im sorry for the things I've done, for the things I did not do and for the things to come.
Im here today, It's all because of you. And Im glad.
You will always be mine.
In my mind, soul and heart.
I love you~


Im sorry for always posting emo craps.

Aint OCD, just Clean. =)

I've been renting a room in a house for like 1 and a half months now.
We have a maid that cleans the house but not ur rooms, alternatively.

But she doesnt clean the fridge, well, cause i'ts not her responsibilty to simply throw out our food.

So the only thing I hate when I first moved in was the kitchen racks and the FRIDGE!!

The maid finally cleaned the kitchen rack a few days ago.

But of course, the fridge was still pack, a mess, smelly and warm due to too much storage!!

Today, I finally got myself to clean the damn fridge..to my horror, the first thing I threw away was a papaya, the thickness of a pancake.. It has been there infront of me but I never knew, rotten, squashed and flatten due to my "clean" housemates who just stack their goods ontop of it and never even bother to throw it away..it was soooo smelly..omg.

Those big big boxes containing those Him Heang biscuits ( must be left by the old tenant, I guess that person must be from Penang.)It was already expired!! Nowanda there wasnt any room in the fridge.

Chocolates that has also expired, fruits rotten like fuck..I just throw every damn thing away.

A few of my housemates came home and saw me cleaning, I ask if any of the stuff is theirs..

Only a few..And most of the stuff was left by the old tenant. WTF..

I wonder how long has that person been gone.

Fucking Ikan Bilis is scattered below the fruit container.

One girl housemate of mine open the fridge to look for her chocolate, and said " Wow, it's really smelly in here huh?". I was thinking in my heart, "Duh, now only you notice?".

Idiots...

My god, why cant they just throw stuff away when they know its already rotten or not in use anymore??

Inconsiderate people.

It took me an hour to clean, wipe and wash everything.

If you are staying in someone's place, at least clean up after yourself.

Yea you pay for the room, doesnt mean you have to keep the outside dirty.

Im not saying that I am VERY CLEAN, but I do clean up after myself.

I lived with a VERY CLEAN mother, and thank god for that, but too much can be a pain in the arse!

I might be a bitch about being clean, but hello, would you bath in a filthy toilet???

I wouldnt....

I wish I can turn back time.

My favourite grandma..let's just call her Ama alright..
She had a minor stroke last week when she was in KL staying with my uncle. And it was the day before he was leaving to China with is wife for a business trip.
So end up, only his wife went and he stayed to take care of my ama.
I havent seen her since she came up because of lack of time and my uncle was busy with work and couldnt pick me up.

The day before she had stroke, she called me while I was about watch G.I Joe.
She called to tell me that shes in KL, and I promised her that I will see her one of these days.
But I didnt..
She cant talk that well, cant hear that well nor walk that well anymore.

Shes leaving back to KK tomorrow and I dunno when will I get to see her.

And she called me again just now telling me how sorry that she couldnt stay long in KL for me to meet her. Hearing her voice stammering was heartbreaking. WHY MUST SHE BE SORRY?
I SHOULD BE THE ONE SAYING THAT...!!!

I've been wanting to go down to KK to meet her and bring Zach along as she always asked when will she get to meet him.
But it was time again that bothers me.

Its a sign that she can't live that long anymore.
But she is strong, I know.. cause she had gone through a bypass, and she is still walking tall till now.
All the time my mum had been asking me to go see her, and I always say "I WILL", but I never once did.
Im regretting in what I should had done. I miss her, and so does she.
She always call me and ask how am I.
She even said she wants me to go see her so that she can give me some pocket money.
It made my tears roll down prefusely.
All I can do is hide in the toilet and cry,


Take time to call your Grandma or Grandpa.
Ask them, how are they doing?
It might not be much, but its a gesture of Love and at least they know that someone still care and thinks of them as much as they do to us.
Without them we wouldnt be here.
Go ahead and make a lovely phone call, or better yet, meet them.
Its worth every penny of your life.


I still Love her cooking, cause shes my hero.

Thank you ~

The place where Im staying, theres a road that leads to Taylor's main campus and Business School. And my friends who stays around my area says that theres alot of robberies or students getting mug there..
So today I have to walk to the post-office which is like around Taylor's, therefore I had to use that road. I was pretty scared at first and thought of many ways to either run or kick the mugger on the nuts if i ever encounter ONE.. lol..
But as I walk along that road, there were 2 police men by the road and a security guard down the road...I felt, SAFE...
I knew there will be a security guard, but I didnt expected police to be patrolling either. lol..

Walking back home, I saw Subway and couldnt resist it as their speacials was turkey ham today for only RM7.50.. Hahaha..
Yes, gotta save up..cant keep spending on expensive food.
Gonna buy some groceries tomorrow and start cooking at home. =)

Didnt do much today, was bored out to death..
I did not buy dinner either as I was lazy to buy dinner which will be teow chew economy rice again.. * can taste the aji inside which is killing my tongue * . So I end up eating weetbix with milk and sugar..lol Anna thought me..
Then waited for my Chagiya to wake up and come online. =)
I know, It seems like it's so lifeless waiting for your loved one everyday to come online.
But, it's worth every second, minute of my life ( that is IF he shows up )..lol
I guess it's just a phase we are going through now, I wonder what will be like in another few more weeks or months?
Will I or you still wait for each other to come online?
Only time will tell.
I love you.

~23~

Still do...

I've been staying in KL, well, about a month already. But it doesn't feel like it's KL when you have friends like Amelia, Anna and May coming to KL every other weekend to party. Hahaha..


Yes it is in KL but I still feel like Im home! ~ which is a good thing ~





Spontaneous ~ yes they are!
Crazy ~ Yes IM GOING CRAZY..
Hyper ~ SOooo hyper when night falls..

Parties, parties and more to come~
It's good to have friends like them, cause who know you aint gonna be bored.
This are the times when I need them the most.

I still chat with my beloved boi although we've "broken up".
Well not everyday, but we try our best to see each other whenever we can.
It doesnt seem like we can let go of each other yet.
Yes we may be apart from each other, but the heart still wants what it wants.

" There are times when I thought you will one day forget about me, but I will have to erase it from my mind, just walk along the path where I'm suppose to. I dunno where it leads to, but I have to move on. Move on to know the world, to meet other people and to know myself better. You might feel the same way as I did too, that I don't love you anymore, but you are wrong, because no matter what, you will always be my no.1 , your heart stays in mind".



While Im waiting for you here, I don't know how long I can take this.
I will just have to wait, wait for you to come.
Be patience and wait.
I dont know where are you or what you are doing,
but Im just glad that everytime I see you, you will tell me what you did.
Honesty is what I need.

I♥you..

You belong with me

How are you chagiyaaa?
Now we are thousands of miles away from each other. Im not getting used to not seeing you , are you?
I made a promise to you that i will be strong no matter what happens, and not cry.
I broke the promise.
I seem strong, but Im not. I'm dreading to go college, I'm dreading in KL, I don't like it here and I want to go home.
Yes, I'm getting what I've always wanted, to be in college. To study, to learn what I have been missing this pass 1 and a half years. But everything happens for a reason. If I did went to college before I met you, I wouldnt had ever met you I guess.

I never regret a single bit by choosing to be with you. I knew you were different.
You listened to everything I have to say whenever you fetched me to work. We laughed, we joked, we bonded.
It's a shame that I can't do the same and listen to you for once. For that I'm very sorry.
I miss the time we spend in your car, it was a sweet escape.

You are mature and sensitive, that's what made me drawn into you.
You were caring and you had that sorta charm that I think what made so many girls fall for you, including me. Well it's not a bad charm, it's just your sweet charm.
I fall so deeply in love with you, that sometimes, I don't know where I'm heading, I don't know what Im thinking and I don't know what Im saying that makes such words into circles that will just make you laugh and cuddle me. * I love those times whenever you do that to me, I can just feel the warmth from you*

I know Im different, egoistic and weird.
I don't know why you even like me in the first place. My bad mood swings, my rudeness and my stubborness. But only you can pin-point it out and make me change. I know I didn't change much, but I am trying.
Im trying to be a better person, more patient and less stuborn.
Trying to find what is the purpose in life.
Why am I here?


Remember the first time I've ever opened-up myself to you?
It was after the big opening party, and you insisted on fetching me home. *That time, I had a lil thing for you too, but I didnt know if you felt the same.*
Instead of going home, we end up going to gurney drive and sat along the shore and drank somemore beer.
We talked, and the talk was no longer that funny, it was more of a serious talk about the past, present, future and what I wanted all this while. The part where I poured my tears and soul, shocked you. You did not see that coming, but still, you listened and you gave advices that I never knew you could. Those advise made me realise about life and made me know how mature you are.
I wasn't ashamed that I whipped like a baby , It felt good to finally tell someone about it. And it was you who gave me the courage to tell.

From that day onwards, things changed for the better.
We finally understand a lil bit of each other and what we wanted.
I only get to knew you for 7 months, but I've already get to know almost your entire family.
Your cousins, aunty's, uncle's, your mum, dad and especially your sister gave me the warmest welcome to your family chain. I really do love your family and you, it made leaving Penang even harder everyday. I love being love by you and your family. Something that I've never got much before.
I will never forget the day that I've found you.

I just couldnt let you go to the Carribeans without sending you off.
I just cant! I don't want a phone call that says goodbye.
I hope that you will get used to the place at Turks and Caicos.
One of this day, I want to hear a happy day that happen over there okay?
I promise I'll do the same.

I love you, please take care of yourself.
Take care of your health okay??



I LOVE YOU CHAAAAGI YAAAA !!!!
Muacksss...

The Cross on my Heart '

Don't stay,
because of me.
Don't cry,
because of me.
Don't waste,
another minute of your life wanting to be with me.
Don't worry,
cause I'm not going anywhere.

I never thought that I could,
I never thought that I would,
I never thought that I can fall in love.




I've found you,
the reason that I'm smilling everyday.