My 20th

The day started without any plans or even to make any plans to celebrate my birthday. Everything happen so randomly and the happiest moment when he told me his on his way to see me. Contend, how can I not be.

I love korean food. So do they.
Happy korean birthday celebration without any cake, I don't mind, I'm too shy to stand infront of my birthday cake while a mass of humans sings happy birthday song to me. For 3 years straight, there was always someone celebrating her birthday along with me. Except for last year, I celebrated my birthday in Langkawi with close buddies but with him away.
So this birthday is the best by far, just close friends, food and love. What I actually wished for the day before whilst in my cubicle.

His first time meeting my college mates and cha cha's indon friends. He likes them. :D

I like how candid this picture is.

Thanks boo for coming down to see me just for one day.
I appreciate all the things and gifts you did and got for me. Every little thing counts for me, no matter how big or small, it's the thought that counts.
I will remember this birthday till the day I'm 6'ft under. :)

The big 2 O coming up!

My days in college has been fun, crazy, noisy, tiring, unhappy, sad, angry and of course Happy.
I am a few days away from my birthday!! The BIG 2 and O together, I am not sad and well it does not effect me either but I want to do something before my birthday. Now I am not talking about doing the " 20 things to do before turning 20", I just want to do something fun and socialize. And that longing came true today.
A few friends of mine came into our class and ask me " Oh Kristi, you drink beer right?" with a smirk on his face, my face GLOW and said "yeaaaa...:)".
I never had a big outing with college mates ever since I've been in college. Yea how lame right? I know...
Oh I heard there will be Hoegarden.. like the MEGA HUGE size pint glass.. awesome!
I know I sound like a pathetic bimbo deprived of alcohol or something, but no no and yes.. I had one too little glass of alcohols with friends back in Penang it was not enough and neither was it that good, so I need some fun and beer in my life to keep me sane.

Most of you may know I have been in a long-distance-relationship and I always get this question from friends, " How do you take it?" or "How do you both go trough it?".
Partially I am not very sure myself how did I gone through it all and now going through it again is even worst than the last.
The one whom initiate all this argument is I.
It feels like I am being too demanding and well, too controlling.
He feels like he has done his best and is getting blame every single time.
He has done his best and I do appreciate every single thing, but somehow, I need something more.
I like it when he does something when I don't need even need to tell him to, if I did, it will sound like I am being demanding or nagging! ~ That is happening now.

So to tell or not to tell?
Maybe I should not talk, zip my mouth and seal it tight. For all the wrongful accusations and demands I did. I am sorry for not being understanding of your situation.




Sometimes trying hard is TRYING TOO HARD in others eyes. Just don't do it. *rolls eyes*

When planets collides.

Somehow I am still a young, immature, wounded girl who just wants to be held tightly and whispers coming to my ears saying.. "Everything will be okay, don't worry.."
Everything seems to be going the other way round. Not how I wanted it to be, not ever how it should had been. Yes I am matured it seems in others eye, I solely play the role of a mother.

Maybe I had been to light on everything,
maybe I had been taking everything so easy just so arguments go blind under the covers,
maybe I had let things slide pass me for too long,
maybe I had give too much and got back a little,
maybe time has passed and I am a little more needy,
maybe we just change as interdependency is less between one of us,
maybe just maybe, MAYBE! I get to see a sight of you brings those other maybe's down from it all.

A person who receive little love when they were younger, bound to need more love but hides away from love. Solely to not get hurt again.
I never want to get hurt, but it takes some salt onto the wound to realize magnificent and horrible things bound to happen. When it clashes, storm waves occur and when everything is said and done, silence comes into the picture and brings harmony to life.
To deal with such pain is like taking a blunt knife pierced through your chest bluntly yet forcefully right into the heart. The pain I feel, is always there.
It is there for so long, too long that now everything just comes out through all the slightest misfortunes moves into a big unfortunate event.
Neither of us likes this part but it is said to help us to grow, no?

I want to love and feel loved.

Food Friends & Love.

It has only been a week in college??? Felt like eternity with tight schedule, hectic and packed classes that leads till late evenings. Just loving being a college-rebellious student ey?

I love practical classes.

With Cha cha..~

Loving my presentation, took me so many tries till I got the right one. :)
Cream puff with chocolate sauce, with almonds on the side and a sugar art that we randomly made, we burned the sugar though. LOL!

Huge? Yea it is!! It felt like everyone can read what you type or read. So reading private message's here in college is a nono..lol.

It has been a long long time chickies, we finally meet again.

Nothing better to do. KFC and stayover..Woot~

Luscious sweet red tomatoes! :P

My pandan coconut for lunch, sad I know. I realize I did not have a single straw at my cubicle when I wanted to drink it. Equally more sad, oh well.

My diet starts now! Been having so much meat, TOO MUCH, I feel like a Carnivore!

A cut cause by my paring knife. No I did not do it on purpose.
I have enough burns, bruises and cuts. Ughh.. and my hormones are getting f*** ed up now, pimples all over my foreheads like world war 3. Kill me, I hate zits!
Anna said my skin looked dry here..:( Look at my cut not my skin..! lol..